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The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right, by Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider
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Following the success of the New York Times bestseller How to Marry the Man of Your Choice, The Rules is a blunt, effective, controversial, funny, and definitive guide to marrying the man of your dreams. The Rules will be featured on an Oprah show, set to air close to Valentine's Day.
- Sales Rank: #1780598 in Books
- Published on: 1997-02
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x 5.25" w x .75" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 192 pages
Amazon.com Review
An unexpected bestseller, this self-help book for women who want to hook a man seems to have struck a chord with desperate American women. Fein and Schneider, whose main credentials seem to be that they are married, lay out the rules to be followed for successfully snagging a dream hunk. And these rules are hard as cast-iron--Rule Five: Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls. The idea is to return to pre-feminist mind games, exploiting the male hunting urge by playing hard to get. The result seems unliberating--Rule Seventeen: Let Him Take the Lead--but it seems to be capturing female minds. Rules Girls are eyeing the phone with steely resolve, and Rules seminars are springing up nationwide. Curious bachelors have been observed studying The Rules, some frowning, others with the supercilious smile of the hunter.
Review
The Rules is not just a book; it's a movement. -- Time, Elizabeth Gleick
About the Author
Ellen Fein is a graduate of New York University and lives on Long Island, New York, with her husband and two children. Ever since she and Sherrie Schneider began weekly meetings in a Chinese restaurant years ago, lamenting their dating woes and discussing their friends' relationships, the two have been formulating and formatting their rules for dating that have now become so popular. They have come a long way, having been featured on" Dateline NBC "and the "Today" show, chronicled in "People, Time, Newsweek, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post", and "USA TODAY "and even spoofed in a skit on "Saturday Night Live. "Since the success of the first book, there have been several spin-offs, adaptations, and parodies of "The Rules, "written by other authors, but none have garnered the attention of the original.
Ellen Fein is a graduate of New York University and lives on Long Island, New York, with her husband and two children. Ever since she and Sherrie Schneider began weekly meetings in a Chinese restaurant years ago, lamenting their dating woes and discussing their friends' relationships, the two have been formulating and formatting their rules for dating that have now become so popular. They have come a long way, having been featured on" Dateline NBC "and the "Today" show, chronicled in "People, Time, Newsweek, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post", and "USA TODAY "and even spoofed in a skit on "Saturday Night Live. "Since the success of the first book, there have been several spin-offs, adaptations, and parodies of "The Rules, "written by other authors, but none have garnered the attention of the original.
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
It's a rule book, not the Declaration
By Lune Pur
I've read a lot about this book being anti-feminist and there are lots of perfectly "logical" arguments out there about it, but here is my two cents:
First off, when you read a book you should take what you like and leave the rest. Think for yourself.
That said, this book does a great job at what it promises: providing direction for a more successful love life. A few women made the following comment: "If the book is so great, why are there still single people?" Aside from some of the obvious answers which render this question so absolutely STUPID, I think it's a good idea to remember that love and romance are very tricky, elusive subjects and we will never have them completely fleshed out. Times change, people change. But there are some concepts that really run deep (such as men, no matter how shy, being a "certain" way, which has produced a societal structure which we are finally attempting to fix but will probably take a long time to), and I think "The Rules" (as well as other fabulous books that I highly recommend, like Kara King's "Power of the Pussy" and Sherry Argov's "Why Men Love Bitches") really connects with this notion. Until men and women are truly equal in all aspects (not just "profession" while in their love lives men still treat woman in a weird conquest-y way), it is wise to accept that they're a different animal and beat them at their own game rather than naively try to play the game that's only in your own head.
I love that this book offers a simple, feminine (I say feminine because I do think that mystery and wonder, while accessible to every individual, are qualities that inherently have a sort of feminine energy) mindset. I love that it feels like I'm in a school all about the game of love. I love the idea that there are unspoken rules out there. When I have a million things on my mind and I'm trying to enjoy myself with my favorite guy, I like to have a comfortable position to fall into. I think The Rules encourages all the wonderful experiences that being in love and dating have to offer -- they just make the road much less bumpy.
If you read, learn; but enjoy yourself. That's what it's all about.
Cheers!
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A Way to Meet the Wrong Man and Have an Unhappy Marriage
By Keith Sargent
I consider myself a nice man and wondered why I'm not having much luck in the dating game. I read THE RULES and now understand why. When women treat me the way THE RULES suggest, I don't want to date them anymore.
The best relationships start off as friendships and the happiest marriages are those where you consider your partner your best friend. But when women treat me with Rule #5: "Don't call him and rarely return his calls," I'm not interested in even being friends, because friends don't treat each other that way.
Since I cannot read a woman's mind, I assume that not returning my phone calls is a signal she's not interested in me. As the authors state on p.6, THE RULES are to teach women how to play hard to get. But playing hard to get means that women will attract men who don't take "no" for an answer. "No" means "try harder." Is this the kind of man an intelligent women wants to attract? More likely it leads to misunderstandings, sexual harassment, and date rape.
THE REAL RULES by Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D. are what I hope women will pay attention to. Rule #1: "Treat men the way you want them to treat you." It seems so obvious, but goes against everything in THE RULES. Rule #5: "Be yourself." Again, this is the opposite of THE RULES which tell you to pretend to be someone you're not so you can attract Mr. Right. But if Mr. Right falls in love with the person you pretend to be, how will he feel when he discovers you are not that person? He will feel tricked and angry because you lied to him and were playing games.
THE RULES is a book written to teach women how to lie, how to play games, and how to manipulate men. I'm not interested in women like that, and the men those women do catch are probably stupid Neanderthals. If those are the kind of men women want, then they should buy this book and follow THE RULES carefully.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Saved My Life !!!!
By A Customer
I am really thankful to the authors for bringing both Rules I and Rules II. I read these books at a time in my life when I was at my lowest. I was desperately clinging onto a man who did not love me back. I was hurt and my self-esteem was at an all-time low.
When I first picked up the book in the library, I thought it was so stupid and shallow. But I decided to go ahead and read it anyway. All of a sudden everything started falling in place. I saw everything I did wrong when I was with the man I thought I loved. Eventually the relationship soured because of my neediness. All I can tell you is that the Rules helped me to gracefully let go of him. I got my self-esteem back and am beginning to love myself in ways I never thought possible. There is still a lot of learning and growing to do but I know I am in the right direction.
Although I am not in the relationship anymore, when I am in contact with my ex, he wonders about my change. He is surprised at how different I am now. All of a sudden, I also noticed that he now talks to me with respect and wonder. I think he can't believe that I let go of him without a fuss. I still care for him but I no longer feel obligated to do anything about it. If he really wants me, he has to make the moves again. As for me, I am content finally. If there is someone in my life, that will be great. If not I am just learning to love myself more and more everyday.
THANK YOU ELLEN FEIN AND SHERRIE.S !!!
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